sad day

I didn't think it would be that hard of a decision.  

The last few months I've been so dang tired.  Teaching does that to you, especially when you're teaching at an all girl's middle school.  Yikes!  I already made up in my mind that I would be totally fine and ready to leave when the time came.  I've had my share of teaching experience, but now it's time to move on.  Unfortunately, it's not that easy.  I was walking through the halls today just absorbing all the screaming, screeching, banging cabinets, feet skidding past on the tile floors; the usual sounds of any given school morning, when it dawned on me how much I'm going to miss it.  

 

busy bee

I've wanted to blog for a while but I've been so busy and exhausted I seriously haven't had any time.  I miss writing.  I miss being able to sit down with a clear mind and just letting the words effortlessly flow out.  So, I'm just going to free write for a while and see where it leads me...

A soft roll to a thunderous crash under salty ground.  

The surface cracks and thick water seeps to the beeps of the coming day.  

Away thoughts fly.  

Level with the sights of yesterday, scurrying to reach the next step we prep. 

We prep and we prep then as quickly as the moment came it remains as stains on the coffee table.

A distant memory of a flavorful blend and a few laughs shared with friends.  

Emerging to the surface too quickly, we get the bends.  

Decompression begins now.  

Doesn't matter if you know how.  

The bubbles slide through coursing veins and the new day reins until tomorrow.  

Such sweet sorrow.  

Parting is such sweet sorrow.  

Frowns underground creep as clouds on the streets and feet after foot become covered with a yellow dust.  

Hand over mouth the cough can't help but shout as the suffocation breathes a deep undertone into those eyes.  

With empty hands we abandon what we never had.  

Iron clad ships materialize upon the harbor, beckoning a sweet song of relief.  

A slight reprieve to spare of sinking lungs.  

When did breathing become such a chore?  

A deep inhale wreaks a buzz of panic as thoughts parade about in confusion.

Judgements cascade into a conclusion.

Still, the dust never settles.

And still, the dust never settles.

Yeah, so it's crunch time right now.  I have 2 months of figure out the "next step."  Life has been moving so fast I haven't had time to figure it out and the uncertainty of it all is just a little rough to handle.  But, regardless, I'm loving all these exciting opportunities that have been popping up and hopefully those things will lead me somewhere.  Ok, that's all for tonight.  Sleep tight everyone!

      

young folks

We didn't have to work this past Monday and Tuesday.  It was fantastic.  I went out to Hongdae with some friends on Monday night and we pleasured our taste buds with a delicious vegetarian meal.  It felt good contributing to the cause and not eating meat that night.  A few things I remember from my Animal Rights class during my last quarter of college.  One of them being a quote by Pythagoras who said, "For as long as men massacre animals, they will kill each other.  Indeed, he who sows the seed of murder and pain cannot reap joy and love."  Word.  That was one of the heaviest classes I took in college.  The movies we watched and the stories we read turned me vegetarian for a month.  It felt good, but after the class ended and I didn't have to endure the videos of screaming animals, I soon forgot how atrocious it was and that cheeseburger, animal style withe extra tomatoes became increasingly more irresistible.  Anyways, I'm on a tangent.  After our dinner, we meandered on through Reggae Bar where we sat and drank some makalee and watched the Baliwood version of Mission Impossible to the smooth sounds of sweet reggae music.  It was the flipping most sensational thing ever.  We wandered around through a few more places and finally ended up at FF.  Since it was a Monday night, there were only a handful of people inside, which was fine by me.  The music was good, classics throughout the past few decades.  There's nothing better than sipping on a cool cocktail while watching the combination of "tall white guy" and "short, roundish korean guy" dance together in the most jolly of fashions to Peter, Bjorn and John's Young Folks.  Not only was this probably the highlight of my weekend, but it also struck a nerve of nostalgia and brought me back to some ridiculous times.  All of a sudden I couldn't stop thinking of that dingy old garage at the end of a particular cu de sac and those carefree kids just sitting and absorbing each other's aura.  My heart started to feel a little squeeze, but just before I began the plunge into a longing for the past, I looked over to the most amazing duo of dancing men and I just got so overwhelmed with joy at how spectacular the moment was.  I love being a young folk.  

The start of a very atypical Monday night.

Now say it again in a British accent with a little sprinkle of southern twang.

Period.

Makalee at a Reggae bar...never would have imagined.

Hello Nana.

Waiting.

Hello there.

Just dance.

Talking only me and you.

life in technicolor

Seoul had definitely given me a new appreciation for taking walks.  You never know what's waiting just behind the corner or down the alley.  A new face, a new perspective, a new experience.  It's not always something glamorous or over the top.  Just little things you catch out of the corner of your eye.  Moments that slip by so fast, you get a tinge of excitement up your spine over the fact that you got to witness something so simple, yet amazing.  

Lately, I feel more and more convicted that "you have all the time in the world" does not apply to me anymore.  It definitely feels like this in college, but when you get out, you realize how fast time passes.  It's hard to believe that it's already been almost a year since I graduated.  It's almost been a year since I've been living in Seoul!  Yikes!  I don't know how much longer I'll have here.  Maybe 4 months, maybe another year.  But despite that, I just want to inhale as much of it as I can.  I keep catching myself dwelling on the uncertainty of my next step.  The fear of getting stuck is enough motivation to push me forward, but chasing your dreams, as enchanting as it may sound, is just as wearisome.  Never the less, I couldn't think of anywhere else I'd want to be in life.  Although living here has been short of hell in some instances, I seriously love it.  I've realized that in our 20's, our lives cascade all over the place.  Things change in an instant.  Tomorrow isn't promised to us.  We only have today.  Just gotta soak it up!             

Tunnel in Shinchon.  Cool graffiti.  

One God.

Down the rabbit hole.

I couldn't resist.  I had to contribute.  

Conversation with old Korean guy...

Old Korean Guy: You have to pay a fine, what are you doing?!

Us: Oh...

Old Korean Guy: Hey, what are you drawing?  Looks good.

Us: ? 

We ran away, but just after I snapped a photo of the half finished product.

Nothing out of the ordinary.  Just the Japanese girls taking an afternoon stroll.  Their sheep were close behind.

I wonder what they're thinking at this age.

Friends.

"Just because my sweatshirt says hello DOES NOT mean you can say hello to me...creep." -Melissa Lim to creepy white dude on the corner of the street.

Holler....

Even smelly standing water can be cool.

Just do it.

Go take a walk today, take your camera too! ^^